Moving

Since the past few months I have been pretty inactive when it comes to writing but my UTs command attention.

Every time that I’ve come to this blog with the intention of writing, I have always tried to vent my feelings or complain about how unfair this world is but it’s always nice to change things for the better.

I have always seen the shift from one stage of existence to another after it’s happened and experiencing it on a different time than others has proven to be quite difficult. However, things take different turns. Today as I was buying my books for the tenth grade, I somehow felt that shift. I’m not saying that I haven’t had any previous thoughts about it  or anything but in that moment I felt a little more aware about it and most of the people I’ve seen think that it’s a wonderful thing to have made it till 10th, I do to but I always felt that there will be times when this “wonderful thing” will cease to exist for other wonderful things to come. I have always been taught to see tenth as a caution sign than a mile stone (don’t deny it come on) but in that moment, when i stood there, trying to collect my books, something inside me went, “shit, we’re here” and that’s when i realized that this is a never ending journey, that learning doesn’t just disappear from your life. In this journey, i need to take the cautions with the milestones and there will be other wonderful things, but that doesn’t mean that this one doesn’t hold value.

I know it’s a little difficult to see, but that’s how my thoughts work. Yikes. For now, a simplification for all i’ve been trying to say would be,

“I don’t know what the next moment holds, but for now I’m aware that I’m going to experience it soon and I’m hopeful that it’s not all bad.”

 

 

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Cuts.

It doesn’t have to end like this. It never has to. So then why does it?

Since the past few days, we’ve been coming across stories of student suicides and from what I have come across, people jump at the sound of it. We need to talk about it guys, we need to address it now. So, whatever I’m about to say in the next few paragraphs please read it with an open mind and it might make you uncomfortable but I feel that out of everyone, we students need to bring it up.

When you first hear the words ‘student suicide’ what’s the first thing that comes up in your mind? I believe the common notion is that students take this horrendous decision of killing themselves because of marks. Well reader, let me tell you that only 30 percent of student suicides are due to exams. Which is still a lot but not the only reason for it. Every one hour, a student tries to kill himself. Every one hour, a person who could be the next big thing, the future of our country tries to kill himself. Why? All I have heard in the past few days is, “We can’t be justifying their actions.” or “These children, they don’t know anything, they are naive” both of which are true till a certain extent. Students are naive and we can’t be justifying their actions but is that all you have to say? What you’re saying is the people who were doing this, were doing the wrong thing but why did they do it? We concentrate and fixate so much on the obvious and forget the most important part of the equation, the ‘Why?’

Feeling lost, lonely, confused, inadequate and stressed are some of the leading causes of student suicide and our amazing educational institutions think they can treat the mentioned causes by installing springs in fans. Every day, when I go to school and see thousands of people getting pushed around in corridors or in lunch halls, all I pray about is that please let this one not be the next one. In one day, people can go through so much shit that they feel like not staying alive anymore. They think if they have to be pushed around every day, then what’s the point of even living anymore. That one day breaks them and I know I’ve been saying it a lot, but its high time that it goes down in number.

Frankly, I believe that it’s a real tragedy that when we look at people, all we see are numbers and medals.

A few days.

It’s been a few days since you’ve been the pinnacle of my conversation,
A few days, since you’ve been the subject of my thoughts.
A few days, since you’ve made me stay up at night.
A few days since I’ve fallen into your eyes and gazed upon your smile.
They haven’t been poetic, these few days.
I know I’m not really helping you.
Forgive me, these are mere musings that j cannot fathom into conversations.
All i’d like to say is,
It’s been a few days.

I’ve travelled world’s let me tell you,
I’ve seen days, I’ve seen nights.
But when I look into your eyes and gazed upon your starry smile,
I see truth, truth that cannot be seen in the bluest of skies.
What do I know anymore
It’s been a few days.

Fiction?

So our story starts with our main character treading the halls of his school.

Issac: No it doesn’t.

Dude how many times have we been over this, I need to tell it properly.

You wanna tell it properly? What about me? Don’t I get a say in what’s happening here? Why do you even want to tell it this story, there’s like nothing interesting about my life. What am I even doing treading these halls. Wait let me guess I’m gonna bump in the girl I like and get cut off midsenten-

Oh hi Lisa. I’m sorry, I’m not exactly being me today. clears throat as loudly as he can. (whispers) oh seriously you’re narrating my actions now.

Issac? Is everything alright? You don’t feel like your usual self today.”, Lisa said

Issac: Yeah, yeah yeah yeah. Everything is alright. Clumsy as always

Well I guess I’ll see you next period.”, she smiled and left.

Issac: Yeah you sure will.

Class.

It’s math period. Issac obviously doesn’t want to be here and he’s trying to hide from everyone in his black hoodie. He’s looking at Lisa, who’s sitting next to him.

Issac: Who’s giving you all of this information? I mean except the last part, none of this is true because none of it matters. I don’t have a problem with actually being visible to the people in this story.

Hey man, Mr Murphy is speaking like he’s constipated again.”, Nate said

Issac: Seriously? You’re introducing ‘friends’ now?

Yeah man, I swear. I mean sometimes I think he just doesn’t realize it.”

We still on for Saturday night?”, Nate asked

What we doing on Saturday?”

Oh nothing, we were just going to watch football, maybe even crack open a cold one, know what I mean?”, Nate laughed

Issac: Ok, I can’t take more of this. I need to jump out of the window really quick. runs towards the window and leaps out

Oh my god, did you just jump out of the window? Wow kid, you couldn’t have done this without off-ing yourself at least once?

Issac: Hey it’s not my fault, I don’t mix well with people of that kind and just by the sound of it, Saturday night wasn’t going to go well. Why are we in the class again?

Well, if you keep killing yourself, you’re going to be back at the same place you killed yourself. Just be happy I don’t send you back by a few paces.

Issac: Fine, let’s just get done with this.

So we still on for Saturday?”, Nate asked.

Yeah man. Be at my place at 8”

Issac: Hey narrator, watch this.

Oh no, he’s going to do something stupid.

Mr. Murphy from all students present here. We can’t understand anything coming out from your mouth.”

Mr. Walters, I beg your pardon?”, Mr. Murphy in complete shock.

It’s nothing man. And one more thing I’m going to walk out here because we are all fictional characters. I’m gonna let that sink in.”

Saturday night.

Man, was I looking forward to this.”, Nate said

Yeah me too…man”

From the past few days, I can see you troubled. Is there something that you’d want to tell me Walters?”

Nope. Just getting to know new things.”

Wait is this about Lisa and the dance?”, Nate exclaimed

It’s not about her, wait what dance.”

Issac: THERE IS A DANCE?

It didn’t seem relevant man.

Issac: OFCOURSE IT IS.

Yeah the dance man. Jesus don’t tell me you have a suit. It’s tomorrow”, Nate said

Ofcourse I remember man. Just tell me what happened.”

So, you asked Lisa if she wanted to go with you for the dance and she somehow said yes. Come on man it’s supposed to be the biggest night of senior year, don’t bail out on me at this point.”, Nate.

Issac : Ok, we’re going to get through this.

The Dance.

Issac is standing on door of the gym. He can see Lisa by the punch bowl and he walks over to her. He’s being himself and frowning but Lisa is something else today, she’s wearing a beautiful pink dress and deserves better for sure.

Issac: Do you hate me or something? (smiling)

Can I have this dance Mr.Walters?”, Lisa chuckles.

What do we have to lose.”

Wow he actually smiled for once

Issac: Do you want me to kill myself again.

The dance left everyone else who was standing there in awe, their eyes never left each other. They didn’t have to be someone else that night. They were just the perfect amount of themselves that night.

Issac: It was a good dance.

Issac was walking out of the door, smiling now. Well after all didn’t turn out to be that bad did it Issac. He took something from the pocket of his jacket. Wait, Issac what is that?

Issac: Poison.

I need to look for new characters in this story.

a for Assault.

“Rape.”

We all have had one or more altercations with this word and we all have established that it’s a horrible word. A few days back, the girls in my school were called by our school coordinator and were told that they were not supposed to wear skirts above a certain length. This act did spark a small rebellion among the girls and a few guys of the school but why was it done? Because females are generally oppressed? Because this seemed OBVIOUSLY more important than studies? You’re somewhat getting there. This was done because it was assumed that the guys cannot concentrate in class because of the “exposure” done by girls. Now, I don’t know much about my fellow classmates but 9th grade is tough and I’m trying to get by. I need to pay attention in class to get decent grades, I surely don’t have time to look at legs (Although, I might’ve caught up on some sleep once or twice.) The main reason why this was done was to prevent rape. Yes, let’s address it, even though there are people out there who think that it doesn’t matter what clothes you wear you should not be assaulted, there are still some people who think that short clothes attract rape or assault. I’ve even heard people, politicians saying that girls should not be given cell phones because they lead to rape. When people who are supposed to be handling your taxes say things like this, it really makes you think why citizens of India immigrate to other countries.

When you google, “Rape in India” all it does is show you stats of how rape conviction in India is higher than the rape conviction in other developed countries. Well Wikipedia, please explain this to me, if there is less rape in certain developed countries than in India how do you expect them to have a higher rape conviction rate. It also shows you that rape in India is done to women ranging from the ages of 6 to 70. Just take a minute to process that. How can you do that to children and old aged people? Forget that. How can you do that to people. How dare you rush into the lives of these people and take everything away from them? One of the cases that stood out among all of these for me, was the rape of a 71-year-old woman in a church, where the rapists continued to destroy religious items and looting cash. On one hand we continue to slaughter the innocents who hurt our “religious sentiments” and then we commit heinous acts in places of worship. A 71 year old woman. People have already so much to deal with so much throughout their life and when they finally attain old age, you sexually assault them?

It took the government, the death of one 23-year old girl to pass the Juvenile Justice Amendment. The girl that we all know as “Nirbhaya” was raped and beaten at the end of a private bus while the bus driver continued to drive on and her friend lay unconscious on the floor. The incident took place on 16th December 2012 but the perpetrators were not persecuted till 9th January 2013. Let’s make this crystal clear, rapists should not be given the benefit of doubt. This horrendous case of rape tends to haunt all of us even after 5 years.

After reading all of this, my first reaction was to get really angry, possible throw around stuff and send a really long letter to all the government official, all caps. But that’s not how we’re supposed to fight rape, we need awareness and what I’m doing here is playing my part. Even if I reach a small audience with this. I want them to know that anything is possible if you’ve got the nerve.

Every big change starts with one person who was crazy enough to go against authority figures.

-r.chakravarty

Transcendence

Things fall apart. Entropy increases and things just slowly fall out of existence. It makes things a little bit interesting though, doesn’t it? Seeing life like this endless book. Every time things fall apart, a chapter of your life ends and its time to move on. We all live life in such an organized way, that sometimes we just see how beautiful it can be with entropy as a part of it. It is so deviated from reality that it almost seems like a fantasy.

I imagine running through fields. Running for as long as I can, stopping every once in a while to catch my breath. I lie down and let the sunshine get to me. I know that one day, that field might not be there but I have this memory. This memory that helps me hold on to that field. I imagine spending a night under the stars, so many in number that I just can’t keep track. To start a fire, set up a tent with someone, read a book on how to protect myself from bear just in case. But the stars too will fade away one day and we would be aliens on our own planet, distant from civilized. A place so consumed by disorder that you’re unable to see the stars and run in fields seems so colorless.

I cherish the dinners that I have with my family and friends. A safe haven from all the problems in the world and all the calamities that take place. A place where everyone can talk about how their day went and what made them smile today. We eat a lot but we laugh even more. I do all of this knowing that there’s going to be one day where I won’t be able to. But that doesn’t stop me from doing it. Entropy: 0, Ritwik: 1

These situations are so extremely deviated from reality that it seems plausible that I have made them in the corners of my mind. I started out by saying how entropy dictates the chapters in our life and I continue to stand by it but the thing is, it doesn’t make it hard for us to cherish anything just because one day its not going to be there, it just makes it easier. I try. I try every day to make the best of these small moments that I have moments with my friends and family and the extraordinary things. Seems to be working quite well.

For now, I send you my regards from strawberry fields.

-r.chakravrty (Major Beatles fan)

Jhumritalaiyya

“Mere gaav jhumritalaiyya hai. Tere gaav shaayad Timbuktu”

I don’t write on love. I mean, I have included it in as some of the minor themes in my stories but nothing major. But today I’ve decided to break the pattern of the same old things and cherish love. So here I am.

I think at this point we have come to terms with the fact that there are a lot of unpleasant things in this world. We all have to bear through something or the other, so why not try to do something pleasant for a change. Let’s try to fall in love. With someone, something or some place. I’m in love with cloudy nights.

When everything feels really still and I walk on the road that’s still wet due to the rain. I walk for a while and I look back with no expectations of finding someone to look back to me. I hope I meet someone. We talk for a while and then we go sit in their front yard. While they play the type of music that we both like, we don’t even talk. We just sit there and share a glance every now and then. I look at the stars for a while and then I close my eyes trying to picture every single one of them. They are a little bit blurry but it’s still good for me. I begin to feel a little drowsy so I lie down on the grass, it feels a little bit dry. I’m slowly falling asleep and as I lose that second of consciousness, I fall in love.

I fall in love with people too every now and then. I like to cherish the times when they smile at the corner of their mouth and the things that make their skin curl. I slowly pick up their habits. I notice the slight variations in their voice. I pay attention to what they wear. I listen to their problems and try to come up with their apt solutions. I fight with them when I don’t want to. I try to be the best me that I can be but I can’t. I take in their cologne and soak in their scent. I do all of this because I feel that love is incomplete without all of these things.

Love runs through my veins.